The Emotions of A New Dad
So it's been about almost 3 months since my lovely daughter Skylar was born. It was somewhat of a roller-coaster at the beginning, but things are sort of settling down. So I guess this is probably the right time for a post about what it feels like to be a new Dad.
I'm not going to talk to much about her and how pretty she is and all that. I'm going to talking about myself and how I feel. I know some are like what kind of self-obsessed person is going to talk about themselves when they just had a newborn? I just feel like there are tons of view points on how it feels to be a new mom, but not to many about new dads.I plan on doing a lot of other post about her in the future, but wanted to let the world know how dads feel.
The first point I'd like to is , you're never ready to have your first child. It took me sometime to stray away from that idea. When you think about it, there is no way for you to fully be ready for everything in life.I feel like I've been able to with some of the changes that come with having a new baby. Sleep is no longer taken for granted, you learn to do it in chunks rather than one long stretch. Luxuries like the playing video games, watching a DVD, spending hours searching the Internet are all gone. They become rarer but much more appreciated when you are able to do them.
Your relationship with the mother changes in ways you didn't expect. Quality time together becomes rarer as well, but that means the simplest conversations, about how your day went and stuff become that much more meaningful. I think that brings you closer together. It also means you have to work hard to stay as a unit that can operate alongside each other. (#TeamFife)
Then there's the change to how you feel about yourself. Just like that, your sense of who you are has just change. When I look into her little face and see my own eyes looking back I feel a sense of unconditional love that I've never had before. All at once you understand how your parent(s) feel(s)/felt about you, you understand them more, and you regret not feeling as grateful or hurting them at all. Makes you want to pick up the phone and just say, "Hi Mom/Dad, how's it going?". It's a humbling feeling when that ball of feelings comes for you the first time. It will never be just you anymore, even more so than when you got married.
The intense love I have for my daughter won't fade, but over time become more meaningful.I know that she will hurt me, I know she will drive me crazy as a teenager, and probably before that. None of that will matter, I'll still feel the same way. That makes me feel very vulnerable, knowing she has the ability to break my heart in the way no one else every could. Suddenly how you feel about yourself changes, you feel at once grown up and younger than ever before. Grown up for obvious reasons, young because you haven't a clue what you are doing. It's all very intense, changing you and your life in a way nothing .
I'm not going to talk to much about her and how pretty she is and all that. I'm going to talking about myself and how I feel. I know some are like what kind of self-obsessed person is going to talk about themselves when they just had a newborn? I just feel like there are tons of view points on how it feels to be a new mom, but not to many about new dads.I plan on doing a lot of other post about her in the future, but wanted to let the world know how dads feel.
The first point I'd like to is , you're never ready to have your first child. It took me sometime to stray away from that idea. When you think about it, there is no way for you to fully be ready for everything in life.I feel like I've been able to with some of the changes that come with having a new baby. Sleep is no longer taken for granted, you learn to do it in chunks rather than one long stretch. Luxuries like the playing video games, watching a DVD, spending hours searching the Internet are all gone. They become rarer but much more appreciated when you are able to do them.
Your relationship with the mother changes in ways you didn't expect. Quality time together becomes rarer as well, but that means the simplest conversations, about how your day went and stuff become that much more meaningful. I think that brings you closer together. It also means you have to work hard to stay as a unit that can operate alongside each other. (#TeamFife)
Then there's the change to how you feel about yourself. Just like that, your sense of who you are has just change. When I look into her little face and see my own eyes looking back I feel a sense of unconditional love that I've never had before. All at once you understand how your parent(s) feel(s)/felt about you, you understand them more, and you regret not feeling as grateful or hurting them at all. Makes you want to pick up the phone and just say, "Hi Mom/Dad, how's it going?". It's a humbling feeling when that ball of feelings comes for you the first time. It will never be just you anymore, even more so than when you got married.
The intense love I have for my daughter won't fade, but over time become more meaningful.I know that she will hurt me, I know she will drive me crazy as a teenager, and probably before that. None of that will matter, I'll still feel the same way. That makes me feel very vulnerable, knowing she has the ability to break my heart in the way no one else every could. Suddenly how you feel about yourself changes, you feel at once grown up and younger than ever before. Grown up for obvious reasons, young because you haven't a clue what you are doing. It's all very intense, changing you and your life in a way nothing .
When I hold her, only a few of my thoughts are about the present. Much more are about the future. About all the fun we're going to have....the playing on the swing, swimming, running around, cooking together, and how to dislike the Redskins(Go Cowboys).Then there's all the things I want to teach her and talk to her about. She's lovely right now, I look forward to seeing her grown up and discover what kind of a woman she will be. Then I realize, I want so many things for her, but are they things that I really want for myself? I'll have to be careful their and not force things on her. I want her to be herself, to do the things she wants, find out what she likes, do what she's good at and be happy with that. I want her to do things for herself, not for me and her mother.Above all, I'll always talk to her, listen to her and share I never want
us not to talk and not to be able to say we really feel. I know at some point she'll think I'm an old wrinkly man without a clue. But it makes me realize I've grown up wanting my parents to be proud of me, now my wife. But I want HER to be proud of me too. Not to 'look up to me' or anything like that. Just to look at me one day and think, I'm glad I'm your daughter.
Dad's how did your new child make your feel? What has changed if anything in your life?
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